The Slayers go to Disneyland
by Swish42
Summary: The Slayers magically come to our world in order to have a little vacation.
1. Entering the Gates

The Slayers go to Disneyland

Entering the Gates

"I can't believe we get to go to Disneyland! Isn't this exciting Miss Lina," Amelia nearly squeals. The princess is wearing jean shorts with a pink Minnie mouse shirt and matching sun visor. She is rearing and ready to go.

"Yeah, as long as it's nothing like the last amusement park I went to," Lina mumbles. She obviously still remembers the dancing pig and penguin puppets well enough to never return to such a place, but Amelia is paying for this trip so how could Lina say no. Lina is wearing maroon jeans with pockets and a tight "Runaway Brain" Mickey T-shirt. She also has a jacket wrapped around her waist and stylish shades. She looks like a typical modern day teen, although her bright hair does stand out a bit.

The four Slayers, Amelia, Lina, Gourry and Zelgadis are waiting in a small line outside one of the many lanes that leads into Disneyland. The dark green gates stand open where cast members are taking their guests tickets and sliding them under a scanner. When most of the cards are swiped a magical sound, which can only be compared to sparkles, is heard on a small speaker above.

"What is this place Lina?" Gourry asks wearing shorts and a 'Hawaii' style shirt. "Is it magic?" Gourry continues as he watches the magical process of the cast members taking guests tickets.

"No Gourry its called technology and robbery," Lina says with slight agitation, adjusting her sunglasses.

"Miss Lina, this isn't robbery! We are merely paying for the delightful services they provide, which includes . . ." Amelia takes out a park map from her pocket and begins to rattle off what the park provides. ". . . parades, shops, rides, shows, eateries, and character experiences."

"Wow that's a lot of stuff," Gourry says.

"I don't need to come to an amusement park to experience those things," Lina says placing her hands on her hips.

"And if you continue on with that kind of attitude today you aren't going to have any fun, Miss Lina" Amelia points out.

"She's right you know," Gourry agrees.

"Yeah, yeah," Lina actually cracks a smile. "I just don't like waiting in lines is all, I'm holding back you know."

"I hate to think what you might consider 'character experiences' in your everyday life," Zelgadis muses. "Well your wait is over," Zelgadis nods ahead of them. The man is covered head to foot wearing beige cargo pants, an oversized 'Nightmare Before Christmas' sweatshirt and a backpack packed with goodies.

"He finally speaks," Lina laughs. "Alright let's have fun guys."

"Welcome to Disneyland," the gate keeper says as they walk through. Lina is surprised to see no hint of sarcasm in the woman's voice or demeanor. It is as if the woman is genuinely happy to be there. "Well that's nice," Lina says.

"Come on Lina let's get a picture in front of the flower bed," Amelia shouts and waves. "It's beautiful isn't it!"

"It's a mouse's head you know?" Lina giggles.

A train's whistle blows behind them as the E. P. Ripple comes to rest at its daily Main Street stop. The four friends pose in their common fashion for a picture, Lina and Amelia display proud 'V' for Victory signs, while Gourry looks blankly to his left and Zelgadis hides behind them all with his hood pulled down low, refusing to look at the camera.

"You're going to need to get over that Zel," Lina comments as she takes back their camera and puts it in the backpack. "We're trying to create 'memories' here remember."

"Lina what is that?" Gourry points at the train as it pulls out of the station.

"Gosh is this going to be you all day?" Lina gripes. "What's this? What's this? There's color everywhere!"

Zelgadis coughs as he holds back his laughter.

Patiently Amelia answers Gourry. "It's called a train Gourry, it's kind of like the transportation we took while in the outerworld with Filia."

"You should have paid closer attention to 'Swish42's' explanation of all things modern and reality before we got here Gourry." Lina rolls her eyes.

"But she was hard to follow," Gourry nearly whines. "She kept going off on long tangents about where Walt Disney's apartment is, the 'real' Casey Jr. train, and how a 'Small World' was a prime attraction at the World's Fair . . ."

No one responds.

"Well isn't that convenient," Lina wonders.

The three pass under a sign that reads the following in bright bronze letters,

"HERE YOU LEAVE TODAY

AND ENTER THE WORLD OF

YESTERDAY, TOMORROW

AND FANTASY"

"So when did 'The Matterhorn Bobsleds' open?" Zelgadis asks as he looks at one of the vintage looking posters under the bridge leading to Main Street.

"It opened in 1959 as the first steel tubular coaster in the country," Gourry says accurately. "It used to be a part of Tomorrow Land, but now it is considered a part of Fantasy Land."

"Interesting," Zelgadis says with a smile on his face.

"Oh look, it's a horseless carriage (aka trolley car), I always wanted to ride one of those," Amelia says racing towards it.

"I want to ride the omnibus," Lina glides on towards the bus which is about to break away from the curb.

"Hey, Zel what's that!" Gourry points to the large fake mountain located to the left of the castle. 'Sleeping Beauty's' castle is dwarfed in comparison to the structure of the mountain beside it.

Zelgadis's sighs. "That's the 'Matterhorn Bobsleds.'" He is very patient with his friend, there are far worse things that could take place at any minute and Gourry's forgetful nature is not a part of it.

"Strange to have a mountain there don't you think," Gourry says squinting his eyes and scrunching his nose slightly.

With a small smile Zelgadis agrees.

End

_Authors Note: Well . . . I don't think anyone has done this before . . . and I think I know why. If I continue this story my goal is to, somehow, not end this story with a Dragon Slave._


	2. The Hub

The Slayers go to Disneyland Part 2

The Hub

"That was a quick trip," Lina comments as she exits off of the omnibus. Amelia is thanking the cabby driver for the ride with an enthusiasm that would make any normal person uncomfortable. Luckily the driver doesn't seem fazed; apparently he's seen this type of reaction before.

Line rolls her eyes and she steps up to Gourry and Zelgadis, who are currently studying the park map. They are standing in the shadow of a fairly large statue of Walt Disney and Mickey called 'partners'. "Where to next guys?"

"This map isn't geographically accurate," Zelgadis states as he looks around them and back down at the map as if he is comparing the two.

"But it is very colorful!" Gourry says.

"I don't care about its accuracy or color brilliance, where's the exciting rides," Lina blurts out.

"There are quite a few," Zelgadis mildly says, unfazed by Lina's brash behavior. "Where would you like to start? Adventure Land, Frontier Land, Fantasy Land or Tomorrow Land."

"Aren't their other lands?" Amelia asks as she leans over Zelgadis's arm to get a look at the map.

Zelgadis doesn't appreciate the princess's closeness but he answers Amelia's question nonetheless. "There are, but these so called 'lands' that I have mentioned are what can be reached easily from where we are currently standing, which happens to be the hub."

"The design of a 'hub' area makes it easier for guests to enter the park and feel less overwhelmed," Gourry insightfully points out, not that anyone there cares.

"Adventure Land sounds like my type of place," Lina smiles. "We should start there!"

"I wanted to go to Fantasy Land first," Amelia quietly mentions next to Zelgadis.

"The castle which leads into Fantasy Land is a focal point meant to lead guests quickly into the park to the place where we are now standing," Gourry rattles off again almost as if he is a sound recording.

Everyone gives the blond a funny look, but doesn't say anything immediately.

"It may be the focal point, but that does not mean we have to start there," Lina reminds everyone pointing at the little castle.

"Swish42 recommended that we get something called 'fast-passes' for Space Mountain as soon as we got here," Zelgadis points at the ride on the map which displays an icon informing guests of the unique 'fast-pass' experience available.

"Fine, whatever! Let's just DO something," Lina whines as she heads towards Tomorrow Land.

"Wait Lina, we need a plan if we want to get the most out of our visit," Zelgadis reminds her. The blue man sighs noting Lina's irrigated expression. He had a full cup of coffee this morning so it's going to take more than Lina's habitual glare to unnerve him. Zelgadis continues undeterred. "Look, we have cell phones, the only person we might lose is Gourry. I'll just take our passes to the 'fast-pass' station while the three of you head to Adventure Land. By the time you are done with the 'Tiki Room' attraction I'll be able to meet you in front of the 'Jungle Cruise.' Although . . . this 'time estimation' I've contrived may be imperfect considering this map is hardly accurate."

"Who cares," Lina stomps her foot. "As long as your offering go ahead and get those 'fast pass' things, we'll meet you at 'Jungle Cruise' Let's go guys!" Her excitement returns as she takes Gourry by the arm and the two race off towards Adventure Land.

"No running please," a cast member politely asks.

The two slow down, but one can hardly call it walking.

"Will you be alright Mister Zelgadis?" Amelia asks.

"I think I can handle this, you just make sure Lina doesn't do something we'll all regret," Zelgadis walks away readjusting the backpack on his shoulder.

"Right!" Amelia's resolve is restored and she races after her companions.

"Please no running," the same cast member repeats.

"Sorry Mister Cast Member," Amelia skips instead.

Zelgadis's trip to the far side of Tomorrow Land is a bit more of a challenge than he initially expected. There is a long narrow line of people making their way to Space Mountain with the same idea he has. The chimera notes a few things during the uncomfortable walk.

One, he doesn't like crowds and being touched, something that is impossible to avoid at this point. Two, this outlet leading into this 'land of the future' doesn't seem to be built large enough to contain the crowd he has become a part of. Three, he doesn't know how the 'fast-pass' machine works.

Fortunately, the people who run the park seems to be aware of the number of guests who struggle with the 'fast-pass' machines and has a cast member close by who assists Zelgadis. The cast members name is Toni, she is incredibly helpful and Zelgadis has no doubt that he will be able to work the contraption on his own the next time it becomes necessary.

"Excuse me sir," Toni asks as he turns away. "But are you in costume?"

"No," Zelgadis politely seethes.

"My mistake," Toni smiles. "Have a magical day!"

And with that Zelgadis quickly attempts to make his way back to Adventure Land, but as can be expected this is no easy task. It is much easier going with the flow of people than against it, even with his rock hard body no one seems to take a hint. A child screams at his left demanding Pizza, from 'Pizza Planet,' another child screams something about a monster in the Matterhorn Mountain.

At least he hopes the child is referring to the monster in the mountain.

Bitterly, he wishes that the others are faring better at the Tiki Room attraction.

End

_Author Notes: Well what do you know they actually made it into the park? I'm so proud of them and they took my advice . . . kind of._


	3. Entering Adventure Land

Part 3

Entering Adventure Land

Bright colors and sounds erupt around Lina, Amelia and Gourry as the show begins around them.

"In thheeeeeee . . . Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Room. In the Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Room."

"All the birds sing words," José chirps.

"And the flowers croon," Michael finishes.

"In the Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Room." José, Fritz, Michael and Pierre sing together.

"You expect me to sit here and listen to this," Lina whispers harshly at Amelia as the birds continue to sing undeterred. They have been singing this song for over fifty years so it is very unlikely that they will stop now.

"Shhhh," Amelia's eyes glint at her companion daring her to speak again. "If you sit here quietly I'll buy you a Dole Whip." Even if Amelia doesn't know it, she sounds like the countless mothers who have walked through this amusement park with bratty children and bartered to give them Dole Whip if they behave.

"Make it two," Lina quiets down for the moment.

Gourry starts singing along with the birds and flowers.

For a while the three watch with varying amounts of amusement.

When the thunder and lightning crash around them Gourry instinctively stands.

"The god's have been angered by all the _celebratin_," Fritz comments as the shutters shake and rain pelts the windows.

"Light come forth," Gourry cries. No gods are going to be killing them if he can help it. He brings out his replica Sword of Light and stands strong.

The crowd around them gasps and most assume that this might be a special event or a part of the show. The older guests know better though and shrink back in their seats.

On the walls above them, the tiki's start drumming and sing a harsh tune. Gourry patiently waits for an attack that will never come.

"Sir," a cast member says beside Gourry. "No flash lights during the show!"

"Oh I'm sorry," Gourry immediately settles down and retakes his seat.

Lina slaps her face, "It's a show Gourry," she hits Gourry for good measure. "None of it is real stupid!"

"Shhhhhh," the crowd says round them.

At this point the show is nearly over; as soon as the doors open Lina lunges out ahead of everyone. The birds sing the cheerful ditty of Hi-Ho-Hi-Ho as the guests slowly exit. No one dares challenge Lina but they do make rude comments about it as they pass Amelia.

"Dole Whip!" Lina demands.

With a heavy sigh Amelia enters a fairly long line for the cold treat and tries to think of a strategy to keep Lina occupied.

"There you are," Zelgadis says as he passes under the Adventure Land sign and joins them in the line. "I've heard this stuff is good."

"I was a good girl so Amelia's buying my two!" Lina beams happily with a joking jab at Amelia's ribs.

"Of course," Zelgadis jokes while Amelia gives the man a warning glance.

When they finally reach the cash register they end up buying nine containers in all. Four for Lina, three for Gourry, one for Amelia and one for Zelgadis. At first Lina complains that the women behind the booth aren't filling the blows right by intentionally leaving an empty space in the middle, but after Amelia offers to give Lina four of them she is pacified.

They sit down at a strange looking rock shaped bench in the bottle neck portion of Adventure land near the Jungle Cruise. In all honesty the bench is not well placed considering the large crowd of people trying to get through the tight street.

But all of the Slayer's frustration is quickly forgotten after eating the Dole Whip. Lina swears that this stuff is the best thing she has ever had and begs for more after she engulfs the third bowl.

"Gah, brain freeze," Lina moans.

"That's what you get for eating it too fast," Amelia sighs.

"Ahhh, why does my head hurt," Gourry echo's in a similar fashion to Lina.

"It's called a brain freeze," Zelgadis calmly reminds the man.

"He can't possibly have a brain freeze," Lina laughs. "He doesn't have a brain!"

No one argues the point and they have a good laugh about it.

"Well here's the Jungle Cruise," Amelia says as Lina finishes. "Might as well."

"That ride look interesting," Zelgadis points at the Indiana Jones ride just beside the Jungle Cruise.

"Yeah, but look again," Lina grabs Zelgadis's pointing finger and lowers it to the wait time below the rides name. "It's a forty-five minute wait."

"And we can't get another fast pass until after . . ." Zelgadis fishes out one of the passes and looks at the bottom. Toni was sure to point this out for his benefit. There was a wait period before allowing another fast-pass to be used. ". . . another half hour."

"I refuse to wait in a long line," Lina says.

"I think we are all clear on that point," Zelgadis sighs as Gourry nods in eager agreement.

"That's perfect than," Amelia beams. "By the time we get off the Jungle Cruise we can get a fast-pass for Indiana Jones. Although . . ." she eyes the creepy temple and overgrown trees wearily. "I might pass on that ride. It looks evil. . ."

Rolling her eyes Lina is quick to remind Amelia that nothing here can hurt them. "Besides if I'm going on the Jungle Cruise with you, YOU have to go on the Indy ride. It's only fair."

"I was afraid you would say something like that."

"Jungle Cruise is one of the oldest rides here when Disneyland opened in 1955," Gourry rambles off. "It was inspired by Walt Disney's 'True Life Adventure' films."

". . . do you even know what a film is?" Lina asks.

"No, do you?"

For once Lina is without answer. When Lina makes no motion to speak on the matter they all turn to Zelgadis for an explanation instead.

"Swish42 mentioned something about it being a form of entertainment that helped create this amusement park," Zelgadis sighs. "But other than that, she didn't expand on the term."

"I'm sure we will find out eventually," Lina says. "Come on, it's only a five minute wait!"

End

_Author's Note: I just got back from Disneyland myself so I'm re inspired to continue this silly story. I just had to include the Dole Whip since it's always been a highlight of mine when visiting the parks. The Tiki Room was something Eryx really wanted to see._


	4. Is this the 'Adventure' in AdventureLand

Part 4

Is this the 'Adventure' in Adventure Land?

"The Bangle Tiger can jump over twenty-five-feet," their tour guide Clang says as they pass a very stiff looking stuffed Tiger. "So don't worry . . . he'll jump right over us!"

Gourry bursts out laughing much too loudly as Zelgadis takes a picture. Amelia giggles and Lina rolls her eyes, but there is a smile on her face nonetheless. Everyone else on the boat stares at Gourry, but a few of the children laugh along with him.

"Is it just me or does our tour guide look familiar?" Amelia murmurs as she leans forward to get a better look at the woman steering the skiff. Since her group is sitting in the back of the boat it is hard for her to get a decent look at the woman. Amelia does have a perfect view of everything else.

"You know she could easily be Swish42's twin," Zelgadis shrugs.

"Now if you have a camera this is great time to take it out. The Indian elephants are out in full force and they all have their trunks on!" Clang laughs at her own joke and pounds the wood crate beside her. Some of the guest sitting close to her jump in surprise at her sudden outburst.

Even though Gourry doesn't understand the joke he laughs hard anyway, not that it is a very funny joke to begin with. In fact, for the rest of the ride Gourry laughs with the over enthused guide who seems to have a joke for every single thing they pass.

"Look at that ape! It looks like he's going 'banana's' for some banana's" or "Aww, this is such a beautiful sight. Those lions are protecting the sleeping Zebra . . . because every comfortable Zebra sleeps with their neck awkward kinked to the side on hard rock," and don't forget, "Hey everybody we are passing the eighth wonder of the world, the back side of water. Do you know what we call the back side of water? O2H!"

While Amelia and Gourry are thoroughly entertained, Lina and Zelgadis enjoy the adventure more or less. Zelgadis is busy taking picture, thus distracting himself from the lame jokes while Lina tries to figure out better jokes in her head. Usually her idea of a punch line ends in a fire ball unfortunately.

"Uh, oh, what's with these drawings on the stone walls," Clang is pointing to primitive paintings depicting red fish with sharp jagged teeth. "I think I took a wrong turn guys, not that I could take any other turn since we're on a track, but these are piranha infested waters. Woman and children will be fine, after all these deadly fish are only 'man' eating."

Along the sides of the little boat metal fish lift out of the water on iron wheels as water begins to squirt out around them. Those sitting on the edge of the boat get a little wet.

With a cute squeal Amelia ducks away as Zelgadis cover his camera, just like half the other people in their boat who weren't expecting the water works.

Next they listen in on a tribal dance Clang refers to as the 'hokey pokey' only to be supposedly 'attacked' by the natives. As Lina gazes at the stiff spear wielding dolls she wonders at how unkind fifty years can be. Unless they've been replaced since then, but wouldn't they improve it then? Lina begins to formulate on 'get rich quick' scheme when running an amusement park.

"Well here we are at the end of the ride where trader Sam is waiting for us," Clang motions to the left side of the boat where an old animatronic man stands. He is holding a shrunken head, lifting it up and down for all to see.

And this park is for children?

"Trader Sam has been here a long time offering his greatest deal. Two heads for one of yours, either way you always end up a 'head'," again their guide laughs but by this point the passengers are use to the strange antics and laugh at her, rather than the joke itself.

The little elephant standing next to trader Sam squirts Zelgadis directly in the face. Better his face then the prize camera though. "Oh sorry sir," Clang calls to him. "You must forgive the little guy he's got a bit of a cold." Their guide brings the boat up to the dock where she delivers her last lines. "This is where your journey ends and mine continues . . ."

"over . . ."

"and over again."

"It's been a great trip everybody, we've shared laughs and tears, in fact I really feel like we've become a family. So I think it's only right to treat you like family . . ." she turns and gives then a stern glare.

"Get out!"

"I'm sorry 'please' get out," Clang offers a fake smile as other cast members help the passengers off the boat.

"Do you know Swish42?" Lina asks as they begin to exit.

The woman smiles at Lina, "I sure do, she's my sister. Try not to break anything, be it material or fourth wall." Probably too late to avoid her later warning. "If you hurry you can get on Pirates and the Haunted Mansion before the afternoon crowd breaks Main Street."

Before Lina can ask further on this point, a cast member grabs her arm and helps Lina off onto the dock where the flow of people automatically leads them to 'Indiana Jones and the Forbidden Eye.'

"I do not want to go on this . . ." Amelia clenches her hands and stares at the temple as Lina and Zelgadis get fast passes.

"I'm sure it's safe," Gourry shrugs. "Those Tiki gods didn't hurt us so I doubt this Indiana Jones and his Forbidden Eye can be dangerous."

Amelia only sighs. "Angry god's aren't what concerns me Mister Gourry, it's just that amusements like this are meant to scare people and that doesn't seem right to me. People shouldn't go out of their way to make others feel uncomfortable."

"It isn't scary," Lina places a strong hand on her hip before nudging Amelia forward with the rest of the group. They are quickly heading under Tarzan's tree house towards a bridge which marks the next attraction. "It's an 'adventure' ride," Lina clarifies. "It's supposed to be exciting." The red head rolls her eyes. As if any fake form of entertainment here can be considered exciting when compared to her life.

_Authors Note: Beware the long note, but I have something that must be explained. I am a big fan of the Jungle Cruise therefore this portion is a bit longer than the Tiki Room. All of the jokes are taken directly from the ride and, I must say, they haven't changed much over the last ten years. _

_I must point out the use of Clang. Yes Clang is my twin sister. On Deviantart my sister Clang55 and I work on a comic parody of Disney and, in particular, this ride. In the comic my sister and I play the part of the guide. _

_I couldn't let this opportunity slide._


End file.
